Since last week’s BFN I’ve been feeling a little bit lost. The IVF protocol – as stressful, occasionally painful and confusing as it may be – at least provided some grounding. I knew what days I needed to be up at 5 a.m. to trek to the clinic. I knew that between 4 and 7 p.m. I’d get a call from a nurse telling me exactly what to inject into my body and at what time. I knew that there was the *possibility* that something might come of what I was doing – if only I could do everything exactly right.
Now I don’t even know what happened! I left a series of messages for my RE since the first available WTF appointment wasn’t available until September 2. He finally returned my call to say that they don’t have the embryologist report yet, but they always recommend at least a month’s rest between cycles.
AF came and went. Only slightly more painful than usual. Now I am contemplating whether I should invest in a new OPK. You never know and it has been a LONG time since DH and I did what you need to do to conceive – at least according to what you learn in school.
So, what I realized is that when I am not in the middle of the clinic’s system, I am lost and getting to know myself again.