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Archive for April, 2010

Slow blogging

I’m too sore to move (see below) and have just sat down at the computer (at home) for the first time in a week! Thanks for all of the nice comments and emails responding to my last post. I know it is ICLW week and so traffic might be light here this week – coupled with some slow blogging, I don’t blame you!

I’ve been on the road this week with a new client – in Pittsburgh. A busy, but interesting few days of meetings and then an early flight back yesterday. I got home in time to catch a martial arts fitness class at my gym – which is normally not feasible for me because I work in Manhattan. It was TOUGH and I was sore most of last night. This morning I joined a group from work for a volunteer day at a local park and raked for five hours preparing mulching around the park’s perimeter. I will NOT be able to move tomorrow, but it feels great to use so many of my body’s forgotten muscles.

After our WTF appointment, which provided exactly no new or useful information, we got busy making appointments with other doctors. We have a diagnostic consult at RMA mid-May and an appointment with Dr. Exclusive (not using his real name here – unless we go that route) the first week in June. We’ve requested our records and filled out mounds of pre-patient paperwork. The rub is that no one seems to take our new insurance – which stinks because I think we have a new ‘lifetime’ limit for ART. This time ’round will be more of a financial discussion than last time.

For those that are interested, the final straw with our CRMI RE was his recommendation for a second opinion. While I appreciate that he was open to our getting a second opinion, the person he recommended (at NYU) hasn’t seen patients for TWO YEARS!! Jeez Dr. – are you really that out of touch with your professional circle? If it had been a few months, okay, but two years! Give me a break.

So this month, we are letting acupuncture, exercise, TCM herbs (to lengthen my luteal phase) and good old-fashioned sex take the lead. Maybe a miracle will happen…

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My least favorite aunt

…arrived today – 8 days early! I should have known she was on her way. DH and I have been nagging at each other and I had all the normal symptoms, but damn if I didn’t have a bit of hope.

Sigh.

So here I sit – crampy, depressed on a Saturday night. I have TONS of work to do this weekend and just sent a big presentation off for review. I’m headed to Pittsburgh for work on Wednesday with a new co-worker for a new client.

SIL cancelled our get together with nephew tomorrow and spent 15 minutes complaining about how hard it was being a mom. While I am certain that it is difficult – doesn’t she get it? I want nothing more than to be there…

Since I am clearly in a (to be read sarcastically) fantastic mood, I sent DH off to hear his friend’s band alone and as I was logging into my work email, I came across Waiting for Baby Bump‘s Today Show segment (from a few weeks ago), which is being featured on msn.com!

I think it is amazingly brave to do what she did – and seriously appreciate someone giving voice to exactly how I’m feeling on such a large stage. I will say that, though I saw it coming, it was totally unnecessary to have the reporter, Megan Meany announce her pregnancy at the end – especially since she is only 15 weeks along. She even acknowledged that her news would be a ‘body blow’ to those still dealing with the challenges of IF.

Now off to brood on the couch…

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It’s Wednesday and already a busy week.

Yesterday my SIL had a healthy baby boy and DH and I now have a nephew.

We had a long and (as we described it) ‘weird’ day. Full of the expected joy, jealousy and copious amounts of in-law time. After a 5:45 a.m. wake up call and battling Brooklyn, Manhattan and NJ traffic, we arrived a few minutes after our nephew was born, only to encounter a hospital security guard who was insistent that we not go in until visiting hours. The floor nurse and even his boss gave us clearance, but he stood his ground. Once we made it past him, we spent most of the day hanging out with my brother-in-law, ensuring everyone ate (while SIL was in recovery after her c-section) and then at Target (we just needed a break). Around 4 p.m. we returned to the hospital and SIL was in the room. She was very gracious, clearly glad to see us and insisted that we hold nephew. He’s adorable, perfect and the youngest person I’ve ever held (8 hours old). By 4:30 p.m. we were on the road again, fighting NJ, Manhattan and Brooklyn traffic home. We then decided to make good use of the car and do a big grocery run. So, by 9 p.m. we were eating leftovers on the couch, having returned the car, and watching season 1 of The Wire (yay Netflix). SIL comes home on Friday and we’ll probably go back for a weekend visit.

****

Had our WTF appointment today and, as expected, RE had no real concrete reason why the FET failed. He walked us through the numbers. Lining, estrogen level, blastocysts – everything looked good. He confirmed that by now, given our ages, health and history, we should have had a positive. We are now in the ‘statistical minority’ — and he doesn’t suspect autoimmune issues. Having never achieved pregnancy, we are also not eligible for recurrent miscarriage testing.

DH and I were both frustrated that RE was simply reacting to our questions, not proactively making suggestions. We peppered him with questions and the upshot is that he recommends we do a medicated FET using the last two blasts from IVF#2.

We’ve used up our lifetime ART funds on our insurance. But, DH’s company just switched to a new carrier and our health advocate (best service EVER) is pretty sure we get to start over again. However, this RE doesn’t take the new insurance.

The clinic’s lab shuts down for two weeks for cleaning over the summer (which we ran into last summer) and so if we want to proceed with the medicated FET we would need to start in 2 weeks. Not likely that we’ll have all of our ducks in a row by then, which means if we go forward with a medicated FET, it won’t be until mid-July and it may not be with this clinic due to the insurance situation.

The only real positive was that he was helpful when we asked what he thought about getting a second opinion (which we were already going to do) and even offered a suggestion at NYU and to make a call on our behalf. He’s also going to bring our case up with the rest of the doctors in the practice at their May meeting. Perhaps 8 heads are better than one?

So where does that leave us?

We’re going to get at least one more opinion (likely NYU and perhaps also a doctor that L., my acupuncturist recommended) and have requested all of our medical records.

We’re going to proceed with the adoption pre-certification.

We’re going to book an appointment with the therapist we’ve seen sporadically.

We’re going to keep taking my temps, timing intercourse, praying, hoping, wishing and supporting each other.

Now, off to eat dinner and prepare for a client meeting in Westchester tomorrow.

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Snapshots of the week

My phone rang last night – a call from my cousin. My first thought (upon seeing her name pop up on the caller ID on a Friday night at 9)? She’s pregnant.

I let it go to VM.

When I picked up the message, she was just telling me that they were going to be in New York because her grandfather died.

I am so sad that IF has colored every reaction that I have.

***

Went with DH to L., my acupuncturist, for the first time post-FET BFN. She’s in her new space, which is slightly more convenient than the old location. We talked about how we are going to proceed, next steps and got her perspective on the situation. She’s also a doula and had just assisted in a 30+ hour birth and commented that as she was leaving she had a strong visual image of assisting at my birth.

Now you have to understand, she is very down to earth and this was a *very* surprising comment. DH and I agreed it was a good thing and a large part of why L. is critical for us on our journey – her positive attitude even in the face of crushing bad news.

***

Had dinner with my pregnant SIL, who is scheduled for a c-section on Tuesday. We always do better one-on-one and dinner was nice, despite my leaving my credit card at the restaurant. I’m bracing myself for a week of emotion – positive (becoming an aunt) and anxious (LOTS of in-law time, focus on babies, jealousy, etc.).

***

Anyone catch the story about an adoptive mom who sent her adopted son BACK to Russia (age 7) alone on a plane – with a note!? My heart goes out to all the families in the process of adopting from Russia who are impacted by this irresponsible family.

***

WTF appointment is on Wednesday.

***

Finally, and most importantly, thanks for ALL of the support. Seriously.

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