It’s Wednesday and already a busy week.
Yesterday my SIL had a healthy baby boy and DH and I now have a nephew.
We had a long and (as we described it) ‘weird’ day. Full of the expected joy, jealousy and copious amounts of in-law time. After a 5:45 a.m. wake up call and battling Brooklyn, Manhattan and NJ traffic, we arrived a few minutes after our nephew was born, only to encounter a hospital security guard who was insistent that we not go in until visiting hours. The floor nurse and even his boss gave us clearance, but he stood his ground. Once we made it past him, we spent most of the day hanging out with my brother-in-law, ensuring everyone ate (while SIL was in recovery after her c-section) and then at Target (we just needed a break). Around 4 p.m. we returned to the hospital and SIL was in the room. She was very gracious, clearly glad to see us and insisted that we hold nephew. He’s adorable, perfect and the youngest person I’ve ever held (8 hours old). By 4:30 p.m. we were on the road again, fighting NJ, Manhattan and Brooklyn traffic home. We then decided to make good use of the car and do a big grocery run. So, by 9 p.m. we were eating leftovers on the couch, having returned the car, and watching season 1 of The Wire (yay Netflix). SIL comes home on Friday and we’ll probably go back for a weekend visit.
****
Had our WTF appointment today and, as expected, RE had no real concrete reason why the FET failed. He walked us through the numbers. Lining, estrogen level, blastocysts – everything looked good. He confirmed that by now, given our ages, health and history, we should have had a positive. We are now in the ‘statistical minority’ — and he doesn’t suspect autoimmune issues. Having never achieved pregnancy, we are also not eligible for recurrent miscarriage testing.
DH and I were both frustrated that RE was simply reacting to our questions, not proactively making suggestions. We peppered him with questions and the upshot is that he recommends we do a medicated FET using the last two blasts from IVF#2.
We’ve used up our lifetime ART funds on our insurance. But, DH’s company just switched to a new carrier and our health advocate (best service EVER) is pretty sure we get to start over again. However, this RE doesn’t take the new insurance.
The clinic’s lab shuts down for two weeks for cleaning over the summer (which we ran into last summer) and so if we want to proceed with the medicated FET we would need to start in 2 weeks. Not likely that we’ll have all of our ducks in a row by then, which means if we go forward with a medicated FET, it won’t be until mid-July and it may not be with this clinic due to the insurance situation.
The only real positive was that he was helpful when we asked what he thought about getting a second opinion (which we were already going to do) and even offered a suggestion at NYU and to make a call on our behalf. He’s also going to bring our case up with the rest of the doctors in the practice at their May meeting. Perhaps 8 heads are better than one?
So where does that leave us?
We’re going to get at least one more opinion (likely NYU and perhaps also a doctor that L., my acupuncturist recommended) and have requested all of our medical records.
We’re going to proceed with the adoption pre-certification.
We’re going to book an appointment with the therapist we’ve seen sporadically.
We’re going to keep taking my temps, timing intercourse, praying, hoping, wishing and supporting each other.
Now, off to eat dinner and prepare for a client meeting in Westchester tomorrow.
wondering where you were in NJ. that’s where i live. congrats on being an aunt. i became an aunt the day after my twins were born 4 months early, so, yea. i had a hard time embracing it. glad you had some lovely newborn time. its amazing isnt it?
and wishing your RE had more answers for you…it is so frustrating to hear your story and not be able to do anything to help. my clinic has some of the best success rates in nj and offers an egg sharing program where the person you split your eggs with pays for your IVF. they also offer out of town monitoring, so it’s unlikely that you would have to go down there more than a handful of times. if you aren’t comfortable with sharing (who would blame you?) they also offer amazing care at a seriously low price. we paid out of pocket for our first IVF and it cost us just a bit over $6000. thank god US and BW were covered by insurance. i have a price sheet somewhere if you are interested.
builtinbirthcontrol@gmail.com
hoping you find peace in whatever direction you choose
xoxo
I feel like we are in the same boat as far as the “statistical minority” and it SUCKS!! I have wished many times that there was something seriously “wrong” with us so that we could have a compass for this maze. No such luck. I agree 100% that you get a second opinion – I have had 5!! I would check out the Sher Inst. and see if Dr. T can shed some light on why you aren’t getting so much as implantation – it CAN have something to do with implantation issues. I wish you luck and I walk this road with you…
Wow, I admire your strength and openess to love. I am expecting a new nephew anyday now and I do not think I can be as gracious as you.
I am sorry the FET cycle did not work, I think it is important to get a second opinion. Hang in there, I know it is difficult but it will be worth it.
My thoughts are with you.
Busy few days. Congrats on becoming an aunt, although I know it is twinged with emotions other than pure happiness.
Hmmm…the WTF appointment leaves me thinking WTF? No real answers, which is so frustrating. I’m glad he was open to second opinions. Seriously, I think you should do that endo biopsy test I did – you have the same exact symptoms as me (well not really symptoms, but never a pregnancy after how long?? eons of trying, not even a chemical). Called the e-tergity test – although I think someone at Yale will also do that test. It’s not immunity, its a lining issue.
How are you doing otherwise – how are you holding up with all of this? Where’s you head at?
Congrats on the new nephew. I tend to have less negative feelings about family babies than I do about friend’s babies so I find them easier to love and cuddle. But I know it’s hard all the way around and I’m sorry.
As for your appointment, I guess there are some things that we just can’t explain and that sucks. Supposedly, there is nothing wrong with me but after over 9 years of TTC, 2 IUI’s and and IVF…I’m baby-less. Go figure. I think a second (and third) opinion are a great idea. I read blogs of people that changed clinics/RE’s and are now pregnant, so you just never know what a fresh set of eyes might bring you.
I think your list of to do’s is a great place to start and I hope you don’t have to wait until July for your next FET but it sounds like there are some things on that list that will help pass the time.
Chin up, sweetie. I think you are holding things together very well.