It’s a beautiful sunny day here in Brooklyn – and the first weekend that I haven’t had to work in months! Before I get into our visit to RE#2 this past week, let me just say that I am lucky. Very lucky to have such a wonderful husband and very lucky to have been able to spend the day with him yesterday. We slept in a bit and hit the farmers’ market. I caught my spin class and then we took a leisurely walk to one of our favorite Brooklyn restaurants in Cobble Hill. In fact, it was the restaurant where we decided to move to Brooklyn 3 years ago. Meandered our way home and then caught a concert in our neighborhood. No phones, no email – just the two of us.
I would, however, love your thoughts on RE#2’s diagnosis.
We’ve done 2 fresh IVF cycles at CRMI and one FET. I spent Wednesday trekking all over the Upper East Side collecting medical records for our Thursday morning diagnostic appointment with RE#2, who we named Dr. Talks A Lot (TAL).
Dr. TAL was recommended by one of DH’s doctors (since RE#1 recommended someone who hasn’t seen patients for TWO YEARS…but I’m not still bitter about that one…). Dr. TAL is at RMA, which we’ve been to because the therapist we see every once in a while has an office there. The waiting room has some pluses and a few major negatives. The biggest plus is that they ask patients to arrange for childcare. CRMI allows people to bring their children, which I find to be quite inconsiderate since clearly everyone in the waiting room is dealing with some sort of IF issue. The biggest downer in the RMA waiting room is the 80s soft rock that is piped in & no windows to the outside world. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it felt like a scene from a movie.
Let’s just say that I am organized. Very organized – and so everything was in chronological order and clipped neatly together. Dr. TAL immediately spread everything out and proceed to tell us that he knows RE#1 and that their kids go to (fancy, private) school together. He dictated my entire history, from gleefully tossing the BCP in November 2007 to the most recent WTF appointment with RE#1. The whole while frantically searching for the corresponding paper (which, I had already put in order, destroyed when he spread everything out). He then took us in for an u/s, which confirmed what he thought.
Basic prognosis: He’s not convinced that my left fallopian tube is blocked, but thinks that my uterus may have been cramping during the HSG. He does not disagree with CRMI proceeding to IVF, but felt that the first cycle wasn’t ‘good’ – and ‘didn’t really count’ (to which DH responded ‘try telling that to our insurance provider’). He thinks that I am a slow responder. He would have pursued a slightly different protocol, but pointed out that the protocol difference is really the fundamental difference between CRMI and RMA – so neither is right or wrong. He wasn’t sure exactly what happened with IVF#2 (27 eggs retrieved, 19 fertilized – slow responder?!?) or the FET, but felt it may be an egg quality issue. He does not think it’s a lining, autoimmune or a uterine environment issue. He, like RE#1, thought the next step was a lupron protocol and another fresh IVF. During the ultrasound Dr. TAL ruled out endometriosis, confirmed that my egg reserve is ‘wonderful’ and declared my uterus ‘perfectly’ placed.
We walked out of the office wondering if everything is so wonderful, Dr. TAL, what’s wrong?!?
We’re getting a third opinion from Dr. Famous the first week in June. Dr. Famous has a different approach – more holistic and we’ve heard he either has an ‘aha’ moment – or doesn’t. If he doesn’t, he just recommends IUI after IUI. He also doesn’t take insurance.
(DH’s job just switched us to Cigna, which is apparently not taken by MANY New York-area doctors – awesome.)
And, I ordered the book Fully Fertile: A Holistic 12-Week Plan for Holistic Fertility from the owners of Pulling Down the Moon. I’m trying to figure out if there are other lifestyle things that I can change – like a focused daily yoga practice or dietary changes – that will help, since to date the diagnosis is still unexplained infertility.
So, since we are at our lifetime ART limit and RMA doesn’t take our new health insurance, we’re at a crossroads. We could (perhaps) find the $20,000 or so needed for another fresh cycle. We could do a medicated FET (out-of-pocket) with the final two blasts in cryo at CRMI. Or, we could eschew Western medicine altogether and focus on TCM, herbs, massage and acupuncture.
All I know is that I am lucky to have a wonderful, supportive partner and that I ache, quite literally ache to be a mom.
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