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Archive for November, 2010

The answer

Well – on the whole, I’d say that it’s been a pretty lousy 36 hours.

On the downside, outweighing the good in substance if not volume – FET #2…BFN.

On the upside, Dr. TAL called me with the news himself. (Note, at CRMI it took almost TWO WEEKS to get a human on the phone for the WTF appointment. Not okay.)

I’ll admit that we decided I should POAS yesterday (since the test was supposed to have been Saturday but due to Thanksgiving travel we couldn’t get back in time). I thought it would be easier to either be happy/excited or mourn on a Sunday than to find out (again) at work and have to deal with it there. The other upside is that it gave us a chance to discuss next steps.

We’re going to go ahead with a new fresh cycle at RMA. Dr. TAL said that the protocol he’d recommend involves Lupron (was too sad to *really* hear what he was saying) so I’ll start on cd21 and look for a new transfer in early 2011. Guess 2010’s not our year.

Another upside is that DH’s company changed insurance carriers and we now have another shot at ART. (We were at our lifetime max on his old company’s policy.)

So on the whole, though I’m sorely disappointed, very, very sad and feeling like it really isn’t fair, I’m also feeling like *perhaps* we’re going to be okay. I am extremely blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive, loving partner in DH and one day (no telling how) we WILL be parents. And damn good ones too!

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The long TWW

Three days post-transfer….

twiddling my thumbs….

Waiting for a sign…

Is my exhaustion from a tough week at work? Or could it be…

Is that a tender boob?

Feeling okay and got a good report on my progesterone levels from yesterday’s tests – followed by a two and a half hour nap (which is NOT usual for me, but could have been the early wake up for the blood test).

Pregnancy test post Thanksgiving …

Please, please, please make this the cycle.

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Transfer day

As I type this, two frozen embryos are (hopefully) settling into a well-prepared uterine lining.

I took today off hoping to keep my stress level down – just in case the transfer ended up not happening. I slept in a bit, took a walk through Prospect Park, went to L. for one last acupuncture session, bought a book for Thanksgiving, got a salad at Whole Foods and then walked through Central Park to RMA. Mid-morning I got a wonderful phone call that both embryos thawed!

The RMA protocol’s been a bit different from my CRMI experience – starting PIO shots about a week ago along with 6 mgs of estrace (estrogen) pills. I had never seen the doctor who did the transfer today, but he seemed pleased with my progesterone levels (29), lining (bright white?) and how the grade 4 and 5 blasts thawed.

So I’ve had a lazy afternoon, watching the three-part Circus special that I saved (which is GREAT) and resting.

Let the wishing and hoping continue.

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Still here and really appreciate the comments and check ins!  Before updating you on where I am, please know that I’m still reading your blogs, but I have a new computer for work that won’t let me comment! Anyone tech savvy enough to offer a solution? I’ve tried disabling pop-ups, adding you to safe lists – essentially exhausting my technological prowess.

As for me, all’s going okay I suppose. Lining is thickening and Dr. TAL thinks that we’ll do the transfer (if those embies thaw correctly) next week. Probably Tuesday. I’m on 5 units of Lupron, 6 mg. of estrogen, extra folate and prenatal vitamins. PIO shots following transfer. At least (sigh) none of it is new and scary this go-round. I’m also seeing a lot of L., my fabulous acupuncturist. She was featured by The Bump this week!

DH’s at a Knick’s game tonight entertaining customers and I’m headed to bed shortly since tomorrow’s an early monitoring day – which means a 5 a.m. wake up.

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Coming from all directions

Well – the FET is going full-steam ahead. I’ve been on Lupron for the last 15 days and just had my first monitoring appointment on cd3. Looks like a transfer the week of the 15th, though I’ll know for sure after tomorrow morning’s monitoring. I’m feeling – well – neutral on this one. I’m working hard to be optimistic and keep my hopes up, without putting myself in a situation where those fragile hopes will be dashed again.

I’m a little worried because our two embryos were not frozen by vitrification (which is what I thought had happened) but rather by slow freezing. I know slow freezing is more common, but I think that success rates for thawing is better with vitrification. At the end of the day, not much I can do about it though. So far though, the new clinic is working out much better. Not only is the commute MUCH easier (reducing stress) but they use email and (miracle of miracles) I actually got a ‘check in’ call from my doctor yesterday. At CRMI it typically took 4 phone calls for me to even track down a human, so to have someone call me to check in was novel!

As for things in my control…I am trying to do yoga, take walks, keep my stress levels at work down (ha!) and eat right. Trying also to get enough sleep, but that’s proving difficult due to work and early morning monitoring. I’m seeing L., my acupuncturist twice this week, the day before transfer and the day after.

In other news – one of the women who works for me told me she’s pregnant this week. It was all I could do not to burst into tears and look happy as we discussed how that would affect her client portfolio, timing of her maternity leave, etc. She essentially asked if DH and I were considering kids and I did my best to skirt the question.

Halloween was tough since we live in such a kid-centric neighborhood. We gave away 250+ pieces of candy in 45 minutes on Sunday before we turned off the light! We live on the ‘approach’ to a major parade – and thus our neighborhood is *the* place to be on Halloween in Brooklyn. Maybe next year we’ll have someone to dress up to celebrate? Oh I hope…

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