I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but this is a really hard season. We don’t celebrate Christmas, but are blessed with lots of friends & family who do. With that celebration comes loads of mail with shiny cards – full of smiling families. While we love our friends and appreciate seeing & hearing how everyone is doing, it’s getting harder and harder to open cards each year. New babies, new houses, movement forward – and we’re still here.
Each year we put together a compilation of our ‘soundtrack’ of the year. It’s a tribute to the mix tape of yesteryear – and is our way of telling the story of the last 12 months. Of course, there’s something huge missing and the proverbial elephant in the room is getting harder to ignore. I wrote the letter and started on the ‘liner notes’ (the 2-3 sentences that accompany each song) and found that I literally had nothing to say about the year. There were some non-TTC milestones, of course, but it’s hard for me not to think about two failed FETs and the thousands of needle-pricks, mls of blood drawn and hours in medical offices.
Last year I included Jason Mraz’s “Details in the Fabric” – as a small nod to our struggle. A little secret – or perhaps a little way of saying that all’s not 100% roses & puppies. I have no idea if anyone noticed.
As for the here & now – on Thursday (cd20), I’ll go in to see if I can start Lupron and thus launch our next fresh cycle at RMA.
If so, game on. Please, please, please let 2011 be our year…