Archive for May, 2011

The same tune again…

….yep, another BFN.

DH and I are devastated.

For those still reading and keeping count, some numbers:

Fresh cycle #4 was a fail, along with fresh cycles 1, 2, and 3…not to mention frozen cycles 1 & 2.

I’m guessing that Dr. TAL will (again) be stumped…as were doctors #1 and #2.

I’m also guessing that the numbers – the out of pockets costs – are going to be significant. We’ve gone through our lifetime max on insurance carrier #2…as we did on insurance carrier #1.


But, buried deep in my grieving soul is a slight glimmer that we WILL be parents. I just need to lick my wounds, potentially mourn the loss of my chance to carry a child, experience pregnancy. Just a day or two before hatching a new plan. Details to come. Curled up on the couch for now.


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101st Post

Word Press just informed me that this is my 101st post on this blog. Sometimes it’s the little things….

Today was a 5-day transfer of three little embryos. Dr. TAL had recommended an aggressive approach (given my age – now 34 – and utter failure to ever achieve a pregnancy). The doctor on duty today told me that the three embryos were ‘fair’ – grade C for two and one not developed enough for a grade. So, we did the deed and now I suppose I am PUPO. My amazing acupuncturist made a house call this afternoon so hopefully all qi is helping something stick.

My birthday weekend was. Yep, that’s right. I was chaperoning my mother-in-law while DH was at a bachelor party in New Orleans at Jazz Fest. Sigh. I did my best to pack the schedule so we checked out the cherry blossom festival at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, visited my sister-in-law and her son, saw Water For Elephants, ate and walked a lot. A few asked if this was my choice … and the answer … no, not really, but at the end of the day it did pass the time.

So the next 10 days will include lots of pineapple, attempts to keep calm and wishes/prayers/hopes.

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